Recipe of the Week: Taking a Picture of Your Stovetop Before Trips
Ingredients:
- Stove Top
- Camera
Method & Analysis:
Every so often I forget that we live in the future. Granted, it turns out the future mostly sucks; I can’t remember the last time I purchased a consumer good that sported new features that I actually found useful. All we get these days are appliances that depend on WiFi access for absolutely no good reason and routers that require you to download phone apps on the premise that you can use the app to reset the router (you absolutely can’t), and cars that not only beep at you while driving for no readily apparent reason, they also feature the slowest, shittiest touch screens known to humanity (which is even more galling when you consider that using even a decently responsive touch screen while driving makes you a clear and present danger to yourself and your fellow motorists).
But one of the fringe benefits of this horrible future we’ve made for ourselves is that each and every one of us is carrying a camera around at all times, and this means you need never start panicking about whether or not you turned off the stove as soon as you get 20 minutes down the road on a multi-day trip out of town. You can just take a dang picture before you go! Somehow I didn’t think to start doing this until 2022 or so, despite having had a phone with a camera for…well, as long as I’ve had my own phone, really. What I’ve found is that the mere act of taking the picture staves off any potential panics about my stove situation. I know the stove is off because I made sure it was off before I took the picture! Each step of the process reinforces the other. Neat, huh?
Week 17 NFL Confidence Pool
I have even less time than I thought I would, so I’ll keep things brief. 11 out of 16 doesn’t sound so bad, but my points losses tell a different story. Putting the max on the Bills only just barely worked, and proved to be the very least of my concerns. I must now grapple with the fact that the Dolphins can beat a good team (albeit just barely), and that the Chiefs really are starting to come apart on offense, and that, when confronted with the choice of who to pick for a massive 49ers/Ravens game, I somehow tricked myself into picking the team starting the vastly inferior quarterback. Also, fuck you Denver.
In short, I’ve contracted an incurable case of brain worms. Since we are still cursed with Thursday football this week, I am left with no time to work towards a cure for these brain worms, which means I also lack the time to do anything you might consider ‘research’ when making these picks. All of these picks are purely vibes-based, and you must understand that if you adhere to them for your own confidence pool purposes, you do so entirely at your own risk. I cannot be held responsible if you were dumb enough to get your takes from a guy who didn’t even get a chance to halfway listen to a podcast. The only piece of news I have received is that the Broncos are benching Russell Wilson for cap purposes; I can only assume the Broncos’ holiday party was organized by Louis Tully.
To the picks (such as they are)!
Week 16 Correct Picks: 11/16 (0.688)
Season Total Correct Picks: 164/240 (0.683)
Week 16 Points: 81/136 (0.596)
Season Total Points: 1,398/1,933 (0.723)
16 Points: Eagles over Cardinals
15 Points: 49ers over Commanders
14 Points: Browns over Jets
13 Points: Bills over Patriots
12 Points: Cowboys over Lions
11 Points: Rams over Giants
10 Points: Ravens over Dolphins
9 Points: Chiefs over Bengals
8 Points: Seahawks over Steelers
7 Points: Packers over Vikings
6 Points: Texans over Titans
5 Points: Jaguars over Panthers
4 Points: Buccaneers over Saints
3 Points: Raiders over Colts
2 Points: Bears over Falcons
1 Point: Chargers over Broncos
Enjoy the games, everyone!
Rob Writes About Whatever 