Football and Food in Nashville, Tennessee
I have a friend who lives in Nashville who had tickets to the Vikings/Titans game this past Sunday. How could I say no? While taking my friend up on this offer once again denied me the time necessary to research and develop a proper recipe, it provided no shortage of opportunities to talk about food, starting with…
Hot chicken from Hattie B’s
Is this basic of me? Is it trite and predictable to write about that time I went to Nashville and had the city’s most famed and celebrated dish? Is it a waste of your time to read an experiential journal of eating one of the most well-chronicled culinary experiences? Perhaps the answer to all three of these questions is yes, but I have a basic streak that is as wide as it is long, hot chicken is famed and celebrated for a reason, and if you think this is a waste of your time, you can piss off and start up your own football column with a food problem. Don’t forget the blackjack and hookers.
The chicken depicted here is what Hattie B’s refers to as Damn Hot!; this is the second-hottest type Hattie B’s offers. Tempting as it was to order the hottest chicken available, I stopped short for two reasons. First off, the hottest level is called Shut the Cluck Up!, and I am a grown-ass man with kids, responsibilities, and self respect. I’m not saying that out loud, in public. Second, I have no trouble admitting that I was afraid that I would find the experience of the hottest possible chicken no fun, whatsoever. I’ve lost all interest in stunt eating; if I don’t actually enjoy it, the opportunity was wasted.
I think I hit my own personal sweet spot; I started to really struggle around the time I dug into the second leg quarter, but in a fun way. As you know, the trick of hot chicken is that the spicy oil coats and clings to your mouth as you eat it, so the heat builds the more of it you eat. By the halfway point, my eyes were puffing up and my nose was maybe running just a bit, and there was only so much I could do to hold the rising spice tide at bay. It became a struggle, but a glorious one, and in the end, I triumphed. I came away feeling as though I could’ve pushed myself further to the limit, spice-wise, but this worked out.
The chicken itself was perfectly cooked; the thick, ultra-crunchy crust gave way to dark meat that was all but falling off the bones. Also, as a champion of empty carbohydrates (much to my physician’s consternation) I must go to bat for the slices of white bread at the bottom of the basket. You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten a slice of bread in which every single air pocket has become a vessel for individual pockets of spicy oil coated in a thinner-than-paper membrane.
BBQ pork bahn mi from VN Pho & Deli
A good bahn mi exemplifies two core virtues. It is a balanced sandwich, as described in the Unified Theory of Sandwiches, and it is made with damn good bread. This bahn mi exemplified both of these virtues. The fillings were all in the right place, and in the right proportions, but the star of the show was the bread. It was crusty and crispy on the outside, yet fluffy and pillowy on the inside. Unfortunately, my friend informed me that VN Pho is moving out to the suburbs; I wish them the best.
Pepperoni focaccia from St. Vito Focacceria
As a long-time defender of deep dish pizza, this speaks to me. Here we have a slice of focaccia bread that’s about as thick as most copies of the bible, lined with actually somewhat spicy pepperoni and tomato sauce. The sauce was the real star of the show, here; it was deeply jammy and intense, indicating that the tomatoes themselves were given plenty of time to break down and develop their flavors. You’ll notice there are also these little crunchy bits along the top, which I found fun and different. My wife said they had honey on them, but I didn’t notice. I could’ve gone for some cheese somewhere on here, but that’s always true. I’ll slap unmelted cheddar on a filet mignon, I don’t give a fuck.
Baklava from Anatolia Turkish Restaurant
Anyone who’s got a problem with baklava has got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. There was also a pretty good lamb shish kabob platter that I demolished before I remembered to take pictures.
Sunday, November 17th, 2024: Vikings at Titans
Below, you will find the small handful of usable photos I took at the game on Sunday; I am no photographer and I don’t think any of my work counts as journalism, although I do my best to blog in an ethical manner. Therefore, this vainglorious attempt at photojournalism was a doomed exercise from the start, although a couple of pictures turned out okay despite my handicap. I was also intending to track down one of the stadium’s more ambitious food options and chronicle the ensuing experience, but after failing to do any research as to where I could find the good stuff I settled for a standard-issue concession stand pretzel. I assume you’re familiar.
This was only my second time seeing an NFL game in person, and I gotta say, the old saw that it’s much better to watch football on TV is nonsense. I had the benefit of excellent seats, but I was also struck by how the stadium felt on the inside. In a weird way, the stadiums and games look bigger on TV than they do in real life; everything was closer than I expected it to be. The field was closer, the other side of the stadium was closer, and the players were closer than I expected. The seats were dense but not uncomfortably so, lending the proceedings a weird intimacy. I got to catch the game with 50,000 of my closest friends.
The game also felt faster in real life, too; without a camera to focus one’s attention, the visual input resulting from 22 fast, large guys attempting to make football plays was a bit overwhelming at first. After a while my brain slowed down, and most of the time I could follow everything just fine. Except, of course, for field goals and extra points, which I could not make any visual sense of, whatsoever. Sometimes I have trouble with watching place kicks on TV, too, so I was hardly worse off for this. I was also fortunate to be surrounded by Vikings fans, which alleviated my lingering irrational fears that I was gonna get my ass kicked. I had a great time, I was able to enjoy the game in the company of strangers, and nobody puked on my shoes.
The worst part of the experience was getting out and away from the stadium. Nashville does not seem to have any public transportation of note, leaving us to trudge several blocks to a designated rideshare waiting area that was already a mess by the time we arrived. Car dependent cities are awful enough, but to make matters worse, the area around the stadium is largely given over to construction for the Titans’ new and pointless stadium, which has made the obviously janky traffic patterns in the area worse.
My friend tells me the new stadium is supposed to be ready for the 2026 season but is already well over budget, and the site was mostly a glorified hole in the ground. And you know what? Nissan Stadium is perfectly fine. Pleasant, even. I certainly don’t have any complaints or grievances about my time there. I’d ask what the point is, but I’m pretty sure I already know, and if I don’t, I could guess. It’s been years since something new came out that actually made anyone’s life better; why shouldn’t this come for football eventually?
Week 12 NFL Confidence Pool
Week 11 Correct Picks:11/14 (0.786)
Season Total Correct Picks: 106/166 (0.639)
Week 11 Points: 92/105 (0.876)
Season Total Points: 888/1,340 (0.663)
Bye: Bengals, Bills, Falcons, Jaguars, Jets, Saints
13 Points: Chiefs over Panthers
12 Points: Lions over Colts
11 Points: Eagles over Rams
10 Points: Steelers over Browns
9 Points: Texans over Titans
8 Points: Vikings over Bears
7 Points: Commanders over Cowboys
My time is limited this week, but I sense you may find some of these assignments to be a bit unorthodox, so justifications are in order. With only 13 points available in the top slot, it behooves everyone to be extra cautious this week. As loathe as I am to give the Steelers double digits, the alternative was giving the Texans double digits, and that’s a mistake. Don’t overreact to their destruction of the Cowboys; they still have plenty of problems on offense, many of which can be traced back to their line, and the Titans’ defensive interior is their one strength. The Steelers, for their part, seem to have morphed into a slightly less hideous butterfly of a team with Wilson under center. I don’t buy them as real contenders, but I do think they can get 12 wins and maybe make it to the divisional round instead of getting 9 wins, a 7 seed, and a summary dismissal.
You may also be tempted to give the Vikings more points this week, but splitting the season series with the Bears is tradition. The main argument against the Bears these days is the fact that the entire coaching staff is about to be fired and the players have quit on them, and while that is compelling it was also a salient argument last weekend, when the Bears were a blocked field goal away from robbing me of 13 points and ruining my hot streak. I could probably go higher with the Commanders as well, but they have lost two in a row, and I need to see them get back on track before I assume they will do so.
6 Points: Ravens over Chargers
5 Points: Broncos over Raiders
4 Points: Cardinals over Seahawks
3 Points: Packers over 49ers
2 Points: Dolphins over Patriots
1 Point: Buccaneers over Giants
First I gave the Packers 11 points, then I gave them 10, then I gave them 9, and then I gave them 7 before remembering that the 49ers aren’t the only presumed NFC heavyweight now sitting at the fringes of the playoff picture. In fact, there’s a real argument for taking the 49ers outright here, but their defense ain’t what it used to be. The rest of this group is all decent teams that were easy to pick, but who can only be trusted so much; the grim specter of division rivalry looms large among this rabble. The Broncos maybe getting their shit together, and the Raiders are in a death spiral that’s dreadful even by Raiders standards. Among the AFC disappointments that were burdened with expectation, the Dolphins seem to be the only team with even a passing interest in making good on their squandered promise, but I don’t trust them for a single second and neither should you.
Enjoy the games, everybody!
Rob Writes About Whatever 
2 thoughts on “Gross Football Lunch – Week 12, 2024 NFL Season”