Gross Football Lunch – Week 9, 2025 NFL Season

Recipe of the Week: Jury Duty Lomo Saltado

I had jury duty on Tuesday. Tuesdays are my writing days, and I don’t have a laptop, so instead of putting together something readable I spent my day sitting in a waiting room playing FreeCell on my phone. This will be an extremely truncated first draft of a column as a result, because there is no inconvenience I can endure that I am unwilling to pay forward onto my loyal readers. That’s the Gross Football Lunch Commitment to Professionalism in action, baby!

But my Tuesday wasn’t all bad! I, along with my fellows in civic service purgatory, was given two entire hours for my lunch break. The last time I had jury duty I lived in Chicago, and, like a sucker and an idiot, I used my entirely too long lunch break to go to the Popeye’s across the street from the criminal courthouse. No shade to Popeye’s of course, but you can get Popeye’s literally anywhere, and this is in a part of the city packed with hole-in-the-wall taquerias. I did this even after the clerk assigned to the waiting room, when asked about nearby lunch options, told everyone assembled that there were multiple excellent taquerias within walking distance.

This time would be different; I would use this overlong break to find something fun and different, or I would stuff my face with municipal court vending machine Bugles until I felt something. Fortunately I summoned the industry to choose the former, and walked over to Inka Grill, a Peruvian restaurant right next to the courthouse in magnificent downtown Raleigh. I got the lomo saltado, a dish of sliced steak chunks with onions in a brown sauce that tasted a hell of a lot like steak and onions.

It was pretty good! My only regret is that I accepted the dish with french fries, as the menu dictated, without so much as asking my server whether or not I could swap in fried yuca. No shade to french fries of course, but I had a lifetime’s worth of the things before I got my learner’s permit. Fried yuca is one of life’s great pleasures, and one I haven’t indulged in a couple of years. Life can be tough, but it’s even tougher when you decide you can’t even be bothered to ask for the yuca. Still, it was good enough to make this wasted day not entirely wasted after all.

NFL Confidence Pool – Week 9

Bye: Browns, Buccaneers, Eagles, Jets

Let’s recap last Thursday night’s proceedings, shall we?

Last Thursday night, the Minnesota Vikings traveled to Inglewood, California solely to get pounded into schnitzel against the Los Angeles Chargers. Carson Wentz was given the start over J.J. McCarthy out of an abundance of caution, and in true Carson Wentz fashion, he got himself killed. Late in the second quarter, he got up from yet another hit holding his already inured left shoulder in obvious pain, but played the entire rest of the game despite being in no condition to play.

To say that this was maddening to watch in real time is the understatement of the season. Wentz was playing poorly heading into last week’s game and had no business taking the field in the second half. That Kevin O’Connell was unwilling to put in undrafted rookie Max Brosmer or McCarthy is damning both of his personnel management and the whole of the Vikings organization. The Vikings were already losing and losing badly, and while I can concede that perhaps the loss would have been worse with Brosmer under center, a loss is a loss and the dude was physically able to play. If McCarthy was healthy enough to suit up as the emergency quarterback, he was healthy enough to take the field. Needless to say, if McCarthy wasn’t healthy enough to suit up but did anyway, that’s much worse.

Maybe neither option was ideal, but both options were better than sending Wentz out for further beatings. Now Wentz is done for the year and McCarthy is getting the start this week, and this is where the severity and depravity of O’Connell’s brainworm infestation becomes apparent. If McCarthy (and to a lesser extent, Brosmer) was held out of the Chargers game because it would have ruined O’Connell’s master plan to give his special little guy every possible advantage before retaking the field, well, guess what? Now his ordained quarterback of the future has to make his first start back against the Lions in Detroit, behind a still extremely banged up offensive line, and with the defense in a severe slump, and with the entire season on the line. On the extremely slim chance that the Vikings win Sunday, it will remain the case that O’Connell sacrificed Wentz’ actual physical wellness for no tangible gain. I cannot look past that, and I don’t believe anyone else should either, regardless of their team allegiance.

With the start of every new regime comes the hope that this time, It Will Be Different, but I’ve found that this hope is ultimately enervating. Eventually, your exciting new head coach and exciting new general manager are going to get fired, quite possibly without so much as a playoff win – let alone a Super Bowl appearance – to show for it. That’s how football goes. To be at the start of this cycle – pretending that a championship is just a few years away for real this time despite knowing better – becomes harder and harder to go along with with each organizational reset.

This past Thursday showed me and everyone else that the Vikings are headed for another complete do-over. O’Connell and general manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah will probably get one last chance next season, but when was the last time a head coach and general manager made good on their one last chance to turn things around? Lest you suggest that perhaps it is better that the team collapse entirely and force the reset at the end of this season, know that this season has already been miserable enough. A 6-11 finish will bring me 3 more wins worth of joy than a 3-14 one. I don’t know how Jets fans even manage.

10 points on a 2-win team sure looks bonkers, but if the Ravens could beat the quasi-competent Bears without Lamar Jackson, they can beat the still-imploding Dolphins with Jackson back under center. The Ravens don’t have any margin for error down the stretch of the season, but with the exception of a Week 17 trip to Lambeau their toughest tests are already in the rear-view mirror. I still doubt they’ll make the playoffs, but I believe they’ll get closer than they have any right to. I acknowledge that I’m going a bit low on both the Colts and the Patriots, because I don’t fully trust either team just yet. The Steelers’ have shown just enough competence to make an upset a real possibility, and I dare not watch enough of the Falcons to figure out what their deal is, exactly. This means it’s possible I’m being ridiculous and the Falcons have no chance in this game whatsoever, but I’d rather leave a few points on the table than lose double digits on a deeply flawed upstart going against passable opposition.

One of these games ins not like the others, one of these games doesn’t belong. The Broncos are one of the few teams living up to their preseason billing and the Texans are hanging on to their season, if only by a thread. But fuck me sideways if I can actually tell which team will survive this rock fight. I’m taking the Broncos because they’re ultimately the better team, but they’re hardly so much better that they’re immune to getting dragged down into the depths of hell by the still ludicrous Houston defense. This game will be disgusting, and I can’t wait to throw it on once I get sick of watching the Vikings choke on their own loogies (so, about 1:45 Eastern, give or take).

Enjoy the games, everyone!