[I]t's important to note that tofu is a forgiving substance. There s no secret to making tofu taste good; all you need is a bit of patience and the ability to follow basic directions.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 9, 2024 NFL Season
Category: NFL Confidence Pool
Gross Football Lunch – Week 8, 2024 NFL Season
I do not claim that this salad is healthy in the strictest sense – there's plenty of fat and salt involved – but most of its constituent elements are broadly considered not terrible for your insides, and it's more satisfying than a lot of “fun” meals, many of which are little more than dog kibble for humans.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 7, 2024 NFL Season
I am doing the best I can with the time and energy I have, and doing the best I can is good enough, and 99.9% of the time, good enough is perfect.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 4, 2024 NFL Season
For those of you who aren't Vikings fans, this is no doubt a strange and confusing development, and you probably have a lot of questions. Please allow me, a humble Vikings sicko who has seen all three of their games so far, to answer these questions to the best of my ability.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 3, 2024 NFL Season
Since I have no interest in letting my season pool die a coward's death, I've decided to go whole hog on overreactions. I've picked against the teams that betrayed me whenever possible and when that was impossible, I've assigned those Judases as few points as possible.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 2, 2024 NFL Season
True Chili is a major time investment, and who has time these days? That is where the second type of chili comes in; I call this kind Weeknight Chili.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 1, 2024 NFL Season
So before you once again forsake your team and the stupid sport they play, let's enjoy these last few moments of shared NFL enthusiasm together, and make the vilest, greasiest, grossest football lunch we can possibly can. Let's have tuna melts.
Gross Football Lunch Presents: The 2024 NFL MegaPreview
Returning to my roots as an obnoxious little shit, while a dispiriting setback that I resorted to entirely out of necessity, isn't all bad though. Why put on airs? I can only hope that, by staying in my lane, I will occasionally make a big-picture observations that proves correct.
Gross Football Lunch – 2023-24 Postseason Wrap-Up
"Yes, I did announce that last week's column was to be the last Gross Football Lunch of the season, but I come to you today not to provide an actual column; rather, some quick bits of housekeeping are in order[.]"
Gross Football Lunch – Super Bowl LVIII
"If the Chiefs can't move the ball slowly, they will be forced to move the ball quickly, and even with their question marks at receiver and tackle, you cannot possibly want the Chiefs to have to move the ball quickly!"
