On the extremely slim chance that the Vikings win Sunday, it will remain the case that O'Connell sacrificed Wentz' actual physical wellness for no tangible gain.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 9, 2025 NFL Season
Gross Football Lunch – Week 8, 2025 NFL Season
Life's too short to insist on making one's own chicken tenders, a foodstuff you can get absolutely anywhere, and which metaphysically cannot vary in quality, regardless of where they're from.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 7, 2025 NFL Season
Quantifying one's love of any piece of art in any medium through the use of ham-fisted integers is a waste of time and energy, and I refuse to treat my own feelings this way, even for entertainment purposes.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 6, 2025 NFL Season
Having fun as a fan is a matter of expectations. I am not having fun despite the Vikings' winning record because my expectations for the Vikings got out of control.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 5, 2025 NFL Season
The NFL is one of the very last media behemoths that can even be bothered to cast a wide net, which means that if we all rise as one as a football watching people, the league just might listen to us.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 4, 2025 NFL Season
The secret of the Reuben sandwich is that if you're good enough at cooking to make mac and cheese from a box, you can make a better Reuben than you can buy anywhere else.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 3, 2025 NFL Season
Everybody loves doom metal!
Gross Football Lunch – Week 2, 2025 NFL Season
Week 1 is scary because no one has any evidence, but at least we all know we don't have any evidence. Week 2 is even scarier because we still don't have any evidence; we only have data points.
Gross Football Lunch – Week 1, 2025 NFL Season
Week 1 is the second-scariest week of the season for anyone participating in the Confidence Pool. Not one of us knows a damn thing about any of these teams, and not one of us will know anything until we've seen the very games we are meant to be picking.
Gross Football Lunch Presents: The Pessimist’s Guide to the 2025-26 NFL Season
This preview of the coming NFL season is written for the fans that have internalized reflexive pessimism.
