"Is Costco pesto good in any real sense? Would those who Know Pesto consider it worthy of superlative, or even positive appraisal? Frankly, I suspect not...I couldn't say. What I can say is that it's almost certainly better than I could do, even with hours and hours of practice."
"My goal with this week's recipe is to provide you with a basic, easily modified method for nacho making. I've specified particular ingredients for the sake of convenience, but know that pretty much every ingredient in this recipe is fungible, and I encourage experimentation. If you have chips with melted cheese and other stuff on them, you have nachos!"
A good pile is fun, tasty, and vibrant. This week's Gross Football Lunch is absolutely, unashamedly, 100% a pile, but it's also everything a good pile should be. Come along, it's time to reject our snootier impulses and make a pile worthy of praise!
"Because I am nothing if not an enabler, just like your health teachers warned you about all throughout middle school, Gross Football Lunch exists to glorify and revel in this culture of wild over-consumption. Every week for the remainder of both the regular season and the playoffs, I'll be bringing you both my weekly Confidence Pool picks – the long beating heart of my NFL uh...'coverage' – as well as the Gross Football Lunch Recipe of the Week, so that, when you sit down for a whole day's slate of games every Sunday in the comfort and privacy of your own home, you can wreck your internals just as effectively as if you had rolled up to the stadium parking lot six hours early."
Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzz Gah! How long was I out for!?Aw man, my neck is killing me. I need to get this thing limbered up, stat. I keep thinking I can still nap while putting my head on my desk, like it's freshman year study hall. My bones creak too much for that! I have to pay … Continue reading Gross Football Lunch Presents: The Enlightened Sports Fans’ Guide to the 2023 NFL Season
Sorry about that title, I just couldn't resist. It's not that I'm above the occasional terrible, well-worn pun – proper blog titles are the domain of compensated professionals, not understimulated poseurs such as myself – it's that there's been a lot of football news lately, and all of it has made it very difficult to … Continue reading The Superb Owl
This week got away from me, which means that I am compiling this column at the last minute with what little time I can spare for it, which means I must keep things brief. Suffice to say, I am in agreement with everyone that the Divisional Round was the best damn weekend of football I … Continue reading NFL Conference Championship PseudoColumn
Over the course of Wild Card Weekend, I failed. I did not fail because my picks did poorly; my playoff pool looks pretty alright, indeed, and while going 0.500 against the spread isn't exactly a success it's about as positive an outcome as I could've hoped for. Rather, I failed because I defied my own … Continue reading NFL Divisional Round Normal Column
Welcome to the NFL Playoffs MegaColumn! With the regular season having finally reached its terminus, it's time for me to take one last look back at the entirely too long season that was before I turn my attention to the upcoming playoffs. Now that the Mike Zimmer/Rick Spielman era of Vikings football has also been … Continue reading 2021 NFL Playoffs MegaColumn
Happy New Year! Come, face the week that should not be! It is no secret that the slate of games during the final week of the NFL's regular season is destined to be crap. At its most interesting, the final week of the season contains but a small handful of games with actual stakes attached. … Continue reading Rob’s NFL Confidence Pool: Week 18, 2021 Season
