"This week's recipe is not for an actual Reuben, rather, it is for a variant on the Reuben that I developed over time, and mostly by accident... It isn't quite the same combination of flavors, but it scratches a similar itch and like the original it's at its best when the fillings are equally proportioned."
" All of these picks are purely vibes-based, and you must understand that if you adhere to them for your own confidence pool purposes, you do so entirely at your own risk. I cannot be held responsible if you were dumb enough to get your takes from a guy who didn't even get a chance to halfway listen to a podcast."
" I am offering an alternative recipe, one which will help you stay regular, keep you awake when someone at your gathering inevitably throws on The Polar Express for fundamentally unknowable reasons, and get you mad enough to scream “GODDAMMIT MAKE THE FUCKING TACKLE” at the TV at antisocial volumes while remaining fully sober in the eyes of the law."
"Make no mistake, I will be giving you my picks as always, and as always, these picks constitute a good-faith effort to provide a pool sheet I believe will be successful. But as I'm sure you can understand, not even coming close to clearing 0.500 on the previous week in either picks or points has precipitated a rather nasty flare-up of my already robust impostor syndrome."
"I want to spread the good news far and wide: making cutlets is not actually difficult. I'm not asking you to make Hollandaise sauce from scratch or anything; there are no scary techniques to fear. But that being said, making cutlets is work, and it's messy work, at that...But even so, this work isn't all that onerous, and once you're done, you'll have a pile of delicious cutlets to chow down on. What fun! We should all be so lucky!"
"This week's recipe hardly counts as an actual recipe; rather, consider it a guide to an enlightened bye week experience. This is your week off, too. Let's eat healthy, watch games if and only if we legitimately want to, and take the opportunity to contemplate our thoughts on feelings on the season so far, and our hopes and anxieties for the remainder of the season to come."
"Variety is the spice of life, and sometimes you just want something different. Even the most perfect recipes in the world are perfect because they are perfect for what they are, not because they have attained The One True Universal Standard of Tastiness or whatever."
"Once again, real-life circumstances have left me bereft of the time necessary to write actual instructions for cooking actual food. Therefore, this week's recommended foodstuff is a chicken parm sub that someone else has made on behalf of another someone else, who has agreed to give you chicken parm sub in exchange for a nominal fee."
"This recipe isn't meant to constitute a Gross Football Lunch all its own (although you absolutely could go to town on nothing but some black beans and come away full and happy); rather, this recipe is meant to serve as a foundational piece for whatever grease pile you can dream up that can benefit from having a pile of beans slopped on it."
"This is where the Cobb Salad comes in. Look at all that stuff in the picture up there. Does that look healthy to you, in the strictest sense? (If the answer is yes, that's fine, but allow me to non-judgmentally suggest that you might not be eating enough vegetables at present.)"
Rob Writes About Whatever 