For those of you who aren't Vikings fans, this is no doubt a strange and confusing development, and you probably have a lot of questions. Please allow me, a humble Vikings sicko who has seen all three of their games so far, to answer these questions to the best of my ability.
Since I have no interest in letting my season pool die a coward's death, I've decided to go whole hog on overreactions. I've picked against the teams that betrayed me whenever possible and when that was impossible, I've assigned those Judases as few points as possible.
True Chili is a major time investment, and who has time these days? That is where the second type of chili comes in; I call this kind Weeknight Chili.
So before you once again forsake your team and the stupid sport they play, let's enjoy these last few moments of shared NFL enthusiasm together, and make the vilest, greasiest, grossest football lunch we can possibly can. Let's have tuna melts.
Returning to my roots as an obnoxious little shit, while a dispiriting setback that I resorted to entirely out of necessity, isn't all bad though. Why put on airs? I can only hope that, by staying in my lane, I will occasionally make a big-picture observations that proves correct.
"Yes, I did announce that last week's column was to be the last Gross Football Lunch of the season, but I come to you today not to provide an actual column; rather, some quick bits of housekeeping are in order[.]"
"If the Chiefs can't move the ball slowly, they will be forced to move the ball quickly, and even with their question marks at receiver and tackle, you cannot possibly want the Chiefs to have to move the ball quickly!"
"If you must continue your protestation that this is a salad and all salads necessarily suck, please take your Ron Swanson cosplay over to the kids' table. We grownups are enjoying ourselves too much to suffer your complaints. Also, I just heard the microwave beeping; your tendies are ready."
"Roast chicken: the perfect meal to keep you going when you're brawling with wave after wave of colorfully dressed street toughs"
"Welcome to the 2023-34 NFL Playoffs MegaColumn! There's no Recipe of the Week this week in order to make room for talkin' FOOBAW! There's both the excitement of the football to come and the polite boredom and vague sadness of reflecting on the regular season at it's conclusion[.]"
Rob Writes About Whatever 