“Pay attention to me pay attention to me pay attention to me DON’T TOUCH ME”
“This! This is the one place to which nasal Providence has guided me, and therefore is the one place worthy of receiving my excrement”
“Do you mind? I’m busy licking my own piss off of my leg”
“A bully stick? Don’t patronize me”
“I could murder the shit out of those birds right now”
“This toilet water is packed with the flavors of ass and genitals my body craves”
“Want to get a human’s attention? Shove your face in their crotch, works every time”
Rob Writes About Whatever 