Hello and welcome to the Self-Quarantine Self-Help Series! This week, I'll be discussing how you can better yourself during this period of physical distancing, in order to ensure that once it is time for us to emerge from our COVID-free cocoons, we are all cooler, hotter, and smarter! Today's topic is how to stay in … Continue reading Indoor Fitness Regimens for the Unmotivated

Hello and welcome to the Self-Quarantine Self-Help Series! This week, I'll be discussing how you can better yourself during this period of physical distancing, in order to ensure that once it is time for us to emerge from our COVID-free cocoons, we are all cooler, hotter, and smarter! Today's topic is lying plausibly to make … Continue reading Plausible Lies for Your Next Social Function

For some reason, when confronted with a personal or societal crisis, I'm always presented with the urge to say something particularly insightful, even in situations when my capacity for insight is minimal, and even in situations where it would be infinitely more helpful to actually do something. As you can perhaps surmise from the above, … Continue reading Week 2

(Note from the, uh...Editor's Desk: Hi everybody! I started writing this piece back in December, but I never finished it for a completely valid, professional, and not at all super embarrassing reason which I will explain in a bit. Since there's not much doing these days, I've decided to bring it to a bare minimum … Continue reading (Not) Every (1974-1990 Only) Judas Priest Studio Album, Graded

Perhaps this is informed by the fact that, prior to this week, I didn't get out of the house all that much in the first place, but it only took me two days of social distancing for me to lose my entire fucking mind. While I understand the importance of the practice, I woke up … Continue reading A Mind-Numbing Excess of Tecmo Super Bowl

Late last night, as I took a few minutes out of my busy schedule of binge-reading about airplane crashes to start winding things down for the evening, I received word that the Vikings traded Stefon Diggs. Were I not reasonably confident that COVID-19 will place the coming NFL season into extreme jeopardy, I would be … Continue reading On the Trading of Diggs

Real question – why is avocado toast so popular? I no longer choose to live my life in such a way that I am beefing with foodstuffs I don't fully understand, but when it comes to avocado toast I can no longer stay silent. I simply fail to see how the components of avocado toast … Continue reading Avocado Toast Shitpost

What's this? A bunch of match predictions for a pay-per-view that, barring some unforeseen development, I'm almost certainly not going to be able to watch? Sure, why not? I'll be providing some analysis to go with these picks, but since I slept like shit last night I'm gonna keep it quick and dirty (and, with … Continue reading AEW Revolution: Picks

At the risk of OK Boomer-ing myself (an alarmingly frequent occurrence these days), I've always been down on myself for not being a handy guy. Few skill sets are more useful and yet, the relative infrequency with which I have had to deal with maintenance issues in my own living space (and the high probability … Continue reading Holy Crap I Fixed a Leaking Faucet

Recently, I have become alarmed at how quickly I'm getting older. The whole previous decade seemed to pass without my noticing; last I checked, I was single, in my 20s, and living in a tiny studio apartment. This morning, I woke up bewildered at the realization that I'm married, in my 30s, and live in … Continue reading Too Much Freecell