Dog Thoughts

Since I’m not working right now, I spend a lot of time chilling at home with my dog. (His name is Geordie, and he is cuter than your dog). As a result of our extended time together, I recently gained the ability to jump into his mind and read his thoughts. Here are some of the more interesting brain nuggets I dug up:

“All that I see and smell shall be mine, using THE POWER OF MY URINE”

“This rope has given us many hours of fun play. I must destroy it”

“I love you SOOOOO much, I just wanna bite your face off”

“This! This leaf is the best-smelling leaf. DO NOT DARE pull me away from it, I shall smell it forever”

“This, this meal before me, which is exactly like the one I had this morning, and twice the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, etc. is the best meal I’ve had in my entire life”


“Clearly, for maximal comfort, the best way to sit on my dog bed is with my legs outstretched and my body and head dangling off the side”

“It’s mine, it’s mine! EVERYTHING IS MINE” (pees)

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