Week 13 Confidence Pool

This was a strange week for my picks. I hit on all of the picks from point values 11-16, as well as all of the picks from point values 1-5, and absolutely nothing in between. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before. Usually my failures are more evenly dispersed throughout. Regardless of distribution, there’s no way to come away from five misses without a mediocre point total, unless you’re fortunate enough to have those misses sequestered at the bottom of the point range. As is obvious from the above, I was not so lucky.

Granted, part of the problem was that I wrote and published the column before seemingly the entire Baltimore Ravens came down with the ‘rona. I am still baffled and more than a little horrified to see the league go this far out of its way to put on a game that obviously should have been postponed, and, as such (well, that and the fact that there was no way a game played on a freakin’ Wednesday afternoon, with half of one team and a significant chunk of the other not playing was going to be any fun, whatsoever), I didn’t watch a single second of this game.

I mention this not in the name of self-righteous posturing, but because not watching games is the theme of this week’s column. The Week 13 slate is garbage, and I encourage everyone reading this column to give serious consideration to finding a better use for their time this Sunday. Surely there’s some housework that needs doing, or a book you’ve been meaning to dig into, or loved ones who could really go for a crackin’ game of Parcheesi. For my part, I’ll be participating in FlipCon; if you’re one of the few who joins me in being both a football fan and a tabletop RPG player, I highly encourage you to check it out. Looks like plenty of games are still open!

These games are bereft of interest and largely bereft of stakes. That’s an abominable thing to even think this late in the season, but it’s true. With the exception of Rams vs. Cardinals, any playoff implications in these games are largely incidental. Take the week off, it’s fine.

As you can perhaps surmise, this column is going to be short, as I simply can’t be bothered to write up most of this crap. Enjoy your Sunday!

Week 12 Correct Picks: 11/16

Season Total Correct Picks (Starting Week 2): 107/161

Week 12 Points: 96/136

Season Total Points (Starting Week 2): 918/1,262

15 Points: PACKERS over Eagles

In my infinite wisdom, I decided to stay up last Sunday to watch most of a Packers/Bears game that was considered an abomination by almost all parties. While the consensus is mostly correct, I came into, and stayed with, the game for the comedy potential, and I was not disappointed. Mitchell Trubisky throws the prettiest interceptions around, and I remain tickled by the continued descent of Matt Nagy.

Frank Reich got robbed of Coach of the Year back in 2018; the Bears already had a sneaky-loaded defense before adding Khalil Mack at the last minute, then used said defense to rack up plainly unsustainable turnover numbers. This is to say nothing of Nagy’s descent into utter madness after the double-doink. It’s rare that you see a professional coach of any sport go that completely nuts over a freak occurrence, so you gotta savor it when it happens.

I’m getting off topic again, but you hardly need come to me to know that the Eagles are too hapless to beat the Packers, even on their best day.

14 Points: CHIEFS over Broncos

All normal caveats regarding divisional matchups are waived, here. Go nuts.

13 Points: STEELERS over Football Team

12 Points: SEAHAWKS over Giants

11 Points: DOLPHINS over Bengals

10 Points: RAIDERS over Jets

After last week’s shellacking at the hands of the mighty, uh…Falcons, I think we all had a moment where we believed in the core of our respective persons that the Raiders had reverted to their previous, completely hapless selves. I’m here today to tell you not to overreact! They’re called ‘trap games’ for a reason. Even the good version of this Raiders team is not the level of good that is above that sort of bed-shitting, and even the not-so-good version of this Raiders team can squeak past the Jets.

9 Points: TITANS over Browns

8 Points: BILLS over 49ers

7 Points: COLTS over Texans

6 Points: CARDINALS over Rams

5 Points: PATRIOTS over Chargers

4 Points: VIKINGS over Jaguars

3 Points: FALCONS over Saints

2 Points: LIONS over Bears

1 Point: RAVENS over Cowboys

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